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Most users ever online was 41 on Sat Feb 19, 2011 9:31 am

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    5000 Posts
    5000 Posts

    Posts : 5279
    Join date : 2011-01-12
    Age : 35
    Location : Dorchester


    Post by Tasha on Wed Aug 17, 2011 3:06 am

    One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike, "My elbow hurts
    hell. I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!"

    "Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies,
    "There's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy. Just give it a
    urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to
    do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot
    quicker and better than a doctor and you get Club Card points".

    So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
    He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
    urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
    later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak
    your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in
    two weeks".

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
    began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
    water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
    daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the mixture for good
    Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He
    deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the

    The computer printed the following:

    1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

    2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet.

    3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

    4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself your elbow will
    get better........

    Thank you for shopping at Tesco.
    2000 Posts
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    Posts : 3803
    Join date : 2011-01-08
    Age : 46
    Location : Doncaster

    Re: Tesco

    Post by Mandy on Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:13 am

    Love it lmao
    5000 Posts
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    Posts : 5279
    Join date : 2011-01-12
    Age : 35
    Location : Dorchester

    Re: Tesco

    Post by Tasha on Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:03 pm

    Gave me a good chuckle too. If only they really did such a thing!!

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    Re: Tesco

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